by Amy Hoglund
Break-ups can be absolutely horrible, especially when it’s not expected. Sometimes our heart makes us act, think, and do crazy things. What may seem like a fantastic idea at the time turns out to make you feel even worse about yourself afterwards. I’m a personal fan of just cutting all contact, which means deleting their number, Facebook, email, and giving back all of their personal belongings, or at least tossing them out! But we all know it’s much easier said than done.
SO, WHAT ARE THE BIGGEST MISTAKES PEOPLE MAKE AFTER A BREAK-UP? Writer, Editor & Creator of “Your Boyfriend’s Best Girlfriend" gave GalTime a list. Let's count up to the worst.
#5 Broadcast your pain...in song
We all love to listen to our break up music. Songs like "I'm a Mess" by Anthony Hamilton comes to mind. You may even find yourself cry-singing along. However, there is no need to make your depressed musical debut on YouTube for all the world to see. This is one part of the break up you should suffer in silence.
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#4 Beg
Sure, all of those romantic movies show the poor sap coming with his tail between his legs pleading to get back with the love he lost. Yeah, well, it does not work like that in what we call reality. Apologizing is one thing, but begging is a bit of an overkill. Will the person really respect you, once you are back together? Probably not. Value yourself enough to have a spine.
#3 Get back together too soon
Some break ups are necessary. If you have issues in the relationship, time apart may be exactly what the love doctor ordered. However, if you rush to get back together, without working on the issues, you may find yourself back in the same predicament sooner than you think. Take time to work on your issues while apart.
#2 Develop (or nurture) a vice you can't handle
Break ups can be devastating. Life altering even. But the way you react to them, will determine how much they actually affect you in the long run. Sure you can turn to the comfort of a vice like overeating or not eating, having a drink or whatever. Just be mindful that the results of drowning your sorrows may mess you up for some time. So choose your vices wisely.
#1 Seek revenge
It may seem like a great idea to get some "get back" against the one who broke your heart. But you really are only hurting yourself in the long run. Maybe the break up is temporary, but your actions could make it permanent. Most people will tell you, revenge has a way of reversing course and smacking the heck out of the perpetrator.
All in all...suffering a break up is hard. The key is to go THROUGH the break up, and not DWELL on the break up.
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So what can you do to get through a break-up with some grace?
Contributor ASK DAN AND MIKE suggest you break ties, set boundaries and surround yourself with true friends. Here are there best tips.
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Get over it! We know this is harsh, but it's the reality that you need to work towards. It's a process, it won't happen overnight, but you'll get there.
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Release all tethers. Get any necessary items back ASAP. Put all of his/her stuff in a box and give back to him immediately.
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Erase his numbers from your phone, because we've all drunk dialed and made that embarrassing “booty call.” Avoid the "I Need You Now" behavior.
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Break social media ties for example unfriend on Facebook, quit following them on Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, Google+ and block them on any and all dating sites you subscribe to.
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Surround yourself with friends and family to eliminate alone time.
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Take a break from mutual friends that you have.
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Put yourself out there and begin dating immediately. It will help build self confidence and eliminate the feeling of loneliness.
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